Dating and society
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Habib’s chapters are an atypical coming of age story that remain honest and raw. She deals with three main themes, finding herself, finding love, and finding spirituality, all of which are interlinked. She explores herself through travel and the full meaning of her queerness. This allows her to be more comfortable in love, and determine what she wants while retaining a sense of self. And this leads her to identify what is missing in her life, which is Islam. She is then able to return to her roots using a different more accepting approach to Islam that her cultural community had robbed her off. In this circular motion the spirituality further helps Habib find herself.
I thought the intersectionality of Habib’s identity was very interesting when framed around the discussion of online dating while traveling. She says that as a person of color she was able to gauge geographically where she was “wanted”. Growing up in white majority spaces this is something I can relate to. The changing beauty standards within cultures deeply affect how one views oneself and perhaps their vision on love as well. Habib discusses this is in a very nonchalant way which I thought odd because it is a very formative experience for many girls of color. Perhaps her experiences traveling and her ability to move around offered her the wisdom that the changing “desire” or lack thereof was not a reflection of herself but of societal standards.