In Between Sexual Excess and Sexlessness: Personal Thoughts
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At times I feel like my identity, appearance and existence are under the continuous influence of being defined by either sexlessness or sexual excess. This is a sentiment many women face, and at this age, it’s pronounced. On one hand, no woman wants to be reduced to a mere sexual object, and on the other, no woman wants to be defined by the absence of sexuality, or to be seen as 'sexless.' What we seek is not to be defined by excess or absence, but rather it is a neutrality we desire, a recognizance of being singular, and present in existence.
For Muslim women, the hijab often exemplifies this dichotomy. One can become fetishized, politicized, and sexualized when wearing the hijab, we see this in the context of Quebec all the time, where Muslim women are viewed as oppressed (Mahrouse, 92). Conversely, if a Muslim woman decides not to wear the hijab, there is an opposite fetishization that also occurs, where she is falsely viewed as “liberated”, in a way that is often perceived as also being sexual. Again, both are false ideas that strip away agency from Muslim women.
Watching the Neelam “I’ll Be The King” Music video I had many personal thoughts that arose. Being both Black and Muslim situates me at an interesting intersection of sexualization. As a Black woman, I am fetishized; being a Black African is an additional layer of exoticization. When combined with being a Muslim, I am inscrutable, people do not know where to situate me sexually. My experiences are often erased in these debates, as my choices are framed as either evidence of oppression or as a rejection of my cultural background. In my experience, some non-Black Muslim women express curiosity about the limits of my sexuality, while some men are more focused on the extent of it. Both dynamics, at times, contribute to the fetishization of my identity.
Sexularism, which assumes that secularism will lead to “gender and sexual equality” (Bilge 305) does not resonate with me because true liberation cannot occur without dismantling the interconnected systems of racism, patriarchy, and capitalism. The patriarchy is unfeasible without racism, and capitalism cannot exist without either. Under sexularist ideologies, Islam is heavily scrutinized and is viewed as an impediment (Bilge 307). This perpetuates harmful ideas about Islam and neglects to examine the complexities of gender and religion. This is all to say that the sexual liberation of the West is faux. I do believe that the initial efforts in the 1970s had merit to them, but they have evolved, replicating the same constraints they sought to escape, simply in disguise. Neo-liberalism has commodified and completely altered the original ideas behind this supposed liberatory movement, making it seem like an individual effort and not one that is communal at its core (Bilge 305).