Trying to understand our parents' immigration experience
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In whose voice might this song be? What might it describe, or what is its meaning for you?
I think the song is about a daughter talking to her parents, telling them that she understands them a little better now, that she sees them, but not completely. In the beginning, it seems like the parents went back to their native country and they are reflecting on their immigration journey. They recognized that they left that country for good reasons, the journey was not always easy but reflecting on it, they feel like it was the right thing to do for their children. But at the same time, they left home, the place where they were born and lived a part of their lives, they sacrificed the life they had in their country of origin, and they left what they knew hoping for a better future. Hence, it’s important for them that their children come and visit ‘’ One day perhaps we will come back to this country and bring our children to show them you know. And what we had to sacrifice to be in that country you know. But I think in the initial state that we had a lot of struggle, but with god's grace and his kindness we are okay now and our children are okay as well ‘’The singer seems to be the child, and the lyrics make me believe that she visited her parents’ country, and it allowed her to understand her parents' experience better. Maybe it allowed her to see her parents as individuals, as people who had dreams, as people who had a whole life that she is not necessarily aware of (sometimes we see our parents only as parents, disregarding the other parts of their identities, I think it’s often the case in an immigrant household). She sings ‘’ I can feel your dreams, dreams/ I can see you/ I can touch your memories/ I can almost feel the hopes you left behind/ I can almost touch the soil beneath your whisper…’’ I think visiting her parents’ country was also a way to create or reinforce her connection to the motherland. When the singer says ‘’ But I can't hear you’’ I interpret it as if even though she went and saw her parents’ country there are still some things that are missing for her to fully comprehend her parents’ immigration experience, or even the mourning they had to go through. I think it’s mourning rather than melancholia because as Sara Ahmed presented it in chapter four of The Promise of Happiness ‘’Freud describes mourning as the relatively healthy process of grieving for a lost object: the aim of this grief is to let go of the object, or to let the object go. The subject “moves on” and is free to form new attachments, which in turn mean a kind of return to life, or a way of staying alive…’’ In comparison, Ahmed describes the melancholic as ‘’ the one who “holds onto” an object that has been lost, who does not let go, or get over loss by getting over it. ‘’ When the parents talk in the beginning of the song, the parents seem to be in a position of mourning rather than melancholia because they were able to overcome the difficulties, and they are grateful for what they experienced and where they are now ‘’ …with god's grace and his kindness we are okay now and our children are okay as well ‘’.
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Absolutely. Nitin Sawhney’s parents are mourning or have mourned. We should think about why first-generation immigrants sometimes (often) “let go” in this way. My father, for instance.
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Cathy, this was a beautiful analysis, and I agree with you, the song's voice is undoubtedly rooted in the perspective of the child, who begins to grasp the depth of her parents' experiences and sacrifices. The lyrics seem to trace a journey of recognition and empathy—a realization of the parents’ identities beyond their roles as caretakers. This perspective resonates strongly in immigrant households, where parents often embody resilience and silence about the past, creating an invisible barrier for their children to fully understand the gravity of their sacrifices.
The imagery in the lyrics—"I can touch your memories," "I can almost feel the hopes you left behind," and "I can almost touch the soil beneath your whisper"—suggests that the child is piecing together a narrative through the landscape of her parents’ homeland. The act of visiting the parents’ country becomes an act of connection, allowing her to see fragments of their former lives and the dreams they carried. This physical journey mirrors an emotional one, as the child tries to bridge the gap between their past and her present.
Yet, as the child sings, “But I can't hear you,” it suggests an acknowledgment of the limits of her understanding. Despite her efforts to see and feel her parents’ past, the depth of their experiences—marked by loss, hope, and resilience—remains partially inaccessible.Kind of like the common phrase: "You are listening but you are not hearing me." This line underscores the gap between generations, shaped by displacement, cultural transitions, and unspoken pain.
Your use of Sara Ahmed’s distinction between mourning and melancholia adds a profound dimension to this interpretation. The parents, as you describe, appear to be in a state of mourning. They acknowledge their loss—the homeland, dreams, and lives they left behind—but they have also found a way to move forward. Their gratitude for their current lives and their children’s well-being suggests they’ve found peace in their journey, embodying what Ahmed calls “a return to life.”
The child, however, may still occupy a space of longing, grappling with a mourning of her own: the loss of a connection to a homeland that was never fully hers but which shapes her identity. Her visit to the homeland becomes both an act of healing and a reminder of what remains out of reach. This duality—understanding yet not fully comprehending—is a poignant reflection of the intergenerational experiences of displacement and migration.
The song reflects the complex interplay of memory, connection, and loss. It is a meditation on how physical spaces—homelands—carry emotional weight, shaping identity and belonging across generations. The child’s voice is one of empathy and gratitude but also of yearning, as she navigates the inherited legacy of her parents’ sacrifices while striving to make sense of her place in this narrative.