Learning the Language - Remedying the Melancholia
-
Rajiv longs to connect with his Indianness, he wishes to connect with the language and culture of his ancestors. His desire to learn the language and songs from his Aji are positioned in direct contrast to his fathers wishes to have him completely assimilate - take up English names, adhere to Christianity and learn classical languages like Greek or Hebrew instead of Hindi which he views as impractical. Rajiv’s father repeatedly looks down on their Indo-Guyanese heritage and disapproves of Rajiv’s attempts to reconnect. In his view, assimilation is the only way to gain respect, he sees his Indianness as inferior and wishes to adopt the lifestyle of the white man in order to achieve upward mobility. Rajiv, being second-generation is at odds with this - he wishes to learn Hindi and Bhojpuri, to continue singing the songs his Aji had taught him. He has a deep desire to connect with his heritage as seen in his enrollment in the South Asian Summer Language Institute where he enrolled to learn Hindi as well as his desire to go to India to continue his lessons in Hindi and Bhojpuri.
Rajiv’s queerness is another factor that layers his identity and his connection to his heritage. He knows that he cannot reveal this detail to his family members for fear of disownment. This could lead to a divide between him and his family as he is unable to be his authentic self around them and thus cannot connect fully with them. He wants to be a part of the familial network which is why he keeps the queer aspect of his identity to himself despite it causing him great distress.
Loss of language can be seen as a loss of identity - it entails a loss of heritage and an inability to connect with those who still speak the language, this is a source of melancholia. This can be seen in Rajiv’s experience of trying to learn Hindi - although he had a formative knowledge of the language and of Bhojpuri, his instructor claimed that he was not a real Indian when he tried to speak it (furthering Rajiv’s disconnect from his heritage). Standardised Hindi is not the language of his ancestors, they speak Hindustani and Bhojpuri which is not really taught. So although Rajiv is making attempts to learn some aspect of his culture, it is not the part that is directly connected with his ancestry and heritage, rather the version that is most readily available, so there might be a lack of personal connection in the process. -
I really enjoyed reading your post! Some of the points you bring up were also ideas that resonated with me when reading Dr. Mohabir's beautiful piece. Your mention of his second-generation identity reminded me of our class discussion of the difference between first and second generation melancholia. Mohabir's being born in Canada makes him slightly more palatable to the white Canadian. So, with some of this worry about assimilation relieved, he is left yearning for a connection to his culture, which his father does not express as a first generation migrant.
I also appreciate your discussion of the role Dr. Mohabir's queerness would have played in his struggle to form his identity. I wonder if this aspect of his identity would have distanced him from his culture entirely or only from his father, who was already actively working to separate him from his background. Perhaps embracing one's queerness in this specific context could actually facilitate the pursuit of a culture that has been made somewhat inaccessible. Maybe by defying his father in one way, Dr. Mohabir could have allowed himself the freedom to explore his identity in all ways.